A new song i wrote.

skater guy · 04-10-2006, 18:46

I took into consideration some of the points that were thrown at my last attempts... and now i read back through them i understand what most of you meant by them being sloppy.

I tried again and again, then came out with this.

I stare through the darkness, but your not there

I've laid down to rest, all you do is stare

The scars begin to bleed once more, This blood is so rare

My stomach's so sore, all you do is stare

I've cried a river, i've felt the fear

Inside i shiver, all you see is a tear

The darkness consume's me, i'm going insane

Please set me free, my life is a train

I'm spiralling out of control, can you feel my pain

You play an important role, my life has been slain

I've cried a river, i've felt the fear x2

Inside i shiver, all you see is a tear (This tear, 2nd time)

I've watched for too long, now i shall gain control

You think im wrong, this life's so cold

All you do is stare

It as you can see is along the same lines as my others, but hey im a depresssive person when i wanna be... then again i was listening to Stained at the time and i find them quite depressing... well more make me think.

Anyways have fun.

sparda · 04-10-2006, 19:15

Now if you can add a pro voice to that song with some decent music and your in the money
good song m8

Mean · 04-10-2006, 19:28

I think uve overused the word "stare" in the first verse tbh >.<

Fallen-Angel · 04-10-2006, 19:56

thanks to skater guy for the lyrics

thanks to me for my awesome spin on it

attatched...enjoy

Nemesis · 04-10-2006, 20:07

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fallen-Angel

thanks to skater guy for the lyrics

thanks to me for my awesome spin on it

attatched...enjoy

u legends

BinaryKoRn · 04-10-2006, 20:19

lmao that sounds like something Anal C*** would do.

Fallen-Angel · 04-10-2006, 21:37

Quote:

Originally Posted by BinaryKoRn

lmao that sounds like something Anal C*** would do.

i'm thinking of a douglas cameo in a remix?

skater guy · 04-10-2006, 23:41

i would have appreciated that spin more if you actually asked to take the pee outta of it >.>

teflon · 05-10-2006, 04:41

All the first 6 lines rhyme with each other. That would sound like a dirge a couple of 6 year olds wrote.

stejefferies · 05-10-2006, 23:29

that hurt my speakers..... lyrics are good, and the guitar are good.

.... and the drums... something... just... isnt right... sorry... =/

Fallen-Angel · 06-10-2006, 09:13

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nemesis

u legends

i like to think of myself as a master of my own destiny

Mankind · 04-11-2006, 01:06

04-10-2006, 18:46	#1 (permalink)
Name & Title skater guy DING!!!!!!! Avatar Karma Pu-635.73	A new song i wrote. I took into consideration some of the points that were thrown at my last attempts... and now i read back through them i understand what most of you meant by them being sloppy. I tried again and again, then came out with this. I stare through the darkness, but your not there I've laid down to rest, all you do is stare The scars begin to bleed once more, This blood is so rare My stomach's so sore, all you do is stare I've cried a river, i've felt the fear Inside i shiver, all you see is a tear The darkness consume's me, i'm going insane Please set me free, my life is a train I'm spiralling out of control, can you feel my pain You play an important role, my life has been slain I've cried a river, i've felt the fear x2 Inside i shiver, all you see is a tear (This tear, 2nd time) I've watched for too long, now i shall gain control You think im wrong, this life's so cold All you do is stare It as you can see is along the same lines as my others, but hey im a depresssive person when i wanna be... then again i was listening to Stained at the time and i find them quite depressing... well more make me think. Anyways have fun.
	skater guy's Sig: Sweaty Fart http://monstersgame.co.uk/?ac=vid&vid=11051082
Tools

04-10-2006, 19:15	#2 (permalink)
Name & Title sparda Devil hunter Avatar Mood Karma Pu10,304.06	Now if you can add a pro voice to that song with some decent music and your in the money good song m8
	sparda's Sig:
Tools

04-10-2006, 19:28	#3 (permalink)
Name & Title Mean ... Karma Pu0	I think uve overused the word "stare" in the first verse tbh >.<
Name & Title Mean ... Karma Pu0
Tools

04-10-2006, 20:19	#6 (permalink)
Name & Title BinaryKoRn ... Karma Pu0	lmao that sounds like something Anal C*** would do.
Name & Title BinaryKoRn ... Karma Pu0
Tools

04-10-2006, 23:41	#8 (permalink)
Name & Title skater guy DING!!!!!!! Avatar Karma Pu-635.73	i would have appreciated that spin more if you actually asked to take the pee outta of it >.>
	skater guy's Sig: Sweaty Fart http://monstersgame.co.uk/?ac=vid&vid=11051082
Tools

05-10-2006, 04:41	#9 (permalink)
Name & Title teflon what Avatar Karma Pu24,129.66	All the first 6 lines rhyme with each other. That would sound like a dirge a couple of 6 year olds wrote.
Name & Title teflon what Avatar Karma Pu24,129.66
Tools

05-10-2006, 23:29	#10 (permalink)
Name & Title stejefferies Full Member Avatar Karma Pu-654.55	that hurt my speakers..... lyrics are good, and the guitar are good. .... and the drums... something... just... isnt right... sorry... =/
	stejefferies's Sig:
Tools

04-11-2006, 01:06	#12 (permalink)
Name & Title Mankind Full Member Mood Karma Pu17,077.47	Crap
Name & Title Mankind Full Member Mood Karma Pu17,077.47
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