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If you want a successful marriage, sleep in separate bedrooms.
According to Dr Neil Stanley, who runs a sleep clinic at Surrey University, we should all give it a go as it is the secret to a good night’s sleep and a happy relationship.
The Queen and Prince Philip are already said to practise this arrangement and their marriage has lasted.
But then Prince Charles and Princess Diana seemed to spend quite a large amount of time in separate beds too – unfortunately with other people. That relationship didn’t fare so well.
Many couples already operate an unofficial version of the traditional Windsor sleeping arrangements. They start off in the same bed, then one or more children arrive, dad gradually gets shoved to the edge, before decamping in desperation to the spare room.
That doesn’t do much for marriages, relationships or good nights’ sleep, Prof Stanley.
Hardly the most romantic solution. I think I'd rather get a bigger bed. Caitlin Price, bed buyer for John Lewis, tells me what else I should consider ...
▶ The biggest myth is a hard bed – you need a supportive one.
▶ Start with the mattress. Test out how each one feels for you. Your shoulders, hips and knees should be able to sink into it so your spine can remain in a straight line.
▶ Aim for a higher spring count as it will provide more support. Pocket springs are preferable, making the mattress feel more stable.
▶ The greater the variety of fillings inside the mattress (cotton, lambswool, Egyptian cotton, mohair), the more you will feel as though you are being cradled by it. Memory foam or latex have antimicrobial properties and so are good for people with allergies.
▶ Choose together. With mixed-tension mattresses, each side can be individually customised.
▶ It is said you get a better night's sleep from a mattress and divan (fabric-covered) base. Buy them together as they work in partnership with one another.
▶ Should you prefer a bedstead, there are two types – a sprung slat that gives more of a spring, and a solid slat that has a firmer feel.
▶ If your bed squeaks, get a new one. A good one shouldn't do that.
Anyone sleep in separate beds to their partner? I did for years with my ex, but wouldn't dream of it with Harv. To me that time in bed together is part of being a couple and close, but obviously not everyone see's it that way
On those rare occasions that we are apart, I never sleep well. Most nights, there is usually some part of us that is touching (hands, legs, sometimes full spooning). We have a California King bed, which is longer than an standard king - plenty of room for the kids to hop on for Christmas morning. But the kids have never slept overnight in our bed.
Would be wicked to have an enormous bed, like 6 kingsizes pushed together 3x2
I dunno why beds are typically so small, i dont think 6'1 is that tall and i often have feet hanging off the bottom or have to sleep diagonally. I wonder what freaky 7ft+ people do.
Snoring doesn't seem to be covered by that, I have to put up with virtually full on sleep apnea, Robyn sleeps perfectly well, I virtually never get a proper nights sleep as a result, i've tried alsorts to stop her, but nothing seems to work. As a side effect though, I don't only suffer that, I also suffer from regular duvet theft, karate kicks, sleep talking and a constant 1000 watt external spot shining straight through the window.
Suffice to say, i'm fairly insomniac and get most of my sleep at completely irregular times, no matter how much i try to keep my bodyclock under control, it's virtually impossible under the circumstances.
We still sleep in the same bed, but the idea of seperate has been discussed more than once.
We have a jumbo king, pain in the ass getting duvet's and sheets and the likes to fit, but at least if I cling to one corner, i can just about make it through the night without getting black eyes.
I have a very good hard mattress i paid a lot of money for, generally i sleep ok, but i wake up always within 2 hrs of the alarm, maybe its inherent stress i dunno. My biggest problem is getting off to sleep inthe first place, getting up is even harder
Snoring doesn't seem to be covered by that, I have to put up with virtually full on sleep apnea, Robyn sleeps perfectly well, I virtually never get a proper nights sleep as a result, i've tried alsorts to stop her, but nothing seems to work. As a side effect though, I don't only suffer that, I also suffer from regular duvet theft, karate kicks, sleep talking and a constant 1000 watt external spot shining straight through the window.
Suffice to say, i'm fairly insomniac and get most of my sleep at completely irregular times, no matter how much i try to keep my bodyclock under control, it's virtually impossible under the circumstances.
We still sleep in the same bed, but the idea of separate has been discussed more than once.
We have a jumbo king, pain in the ass getting duvet's and sheets and the likes to fit, but at least if I cling to one corner, I can just about make it through the night without getting black eyes.
Im glad to hear Im not the only woman keeping her husband awake because of the snoring. I get so bad I wake myself up at times. It would have to be separate bedrooms for Andy and me to get beyond the snoring
I can see where sleeping in separate beds would be handy. When my back was at its worse Andy couldnt sleep, he would hug the end of the bed because he didnt want to accidental hurt me. Andy is great to sleep with on cold winter nights but not threw the summer. The heat that comes off him is unbearable at times. Stripping the bed every day is a pain in the arse too.
We have the perfect solution. Andy works nights all the time. We get to sleep in the same bed ever other weekend or on his nights off. It dont think it makes any difference to our sex life because its never been just a bedroom bed time thing. But saying that, Andy may think different, if I go away for a few days he doesnt sleep, he says just having me around the house and knowing Im there helps him sleep well.
The big down side to it is we go threw bedding and mattresses like mad. Using your bed in shifts does take its toll
LOL it makes me happy to know that it is not only me who has apnia, i snore terribly, as Det can attest to that . But my other half snores as well.
Its so bad ive had the neghbour round complaining about it. Mind you i know the reason why i snore so there's not much excuse. If i could get rid of half my body weight im sure it would go away.
I wish that i actually felt tired at night and could fall asleep quickly. I think theres only been about 3 times ive ever woken up really refreshed.
Would be wicked to have an enormous bed, like 6 kingsizes pushed together 3x2
I dunno why beds are typically so small, i dont think 6'1 is that tall and i often have feet hanging off the bottom or have to sleep diagonally. I wonder what freaky 7ft+ people do.
I'm 6ft2" and I often have my feet hanging off the bottom! Its a real pain, either than or I have to curl up! To be honest though it doesn't really affect my sleep, I'm pretty good at sleeping.
How to sleep well – and not be lonesome
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