puberty

[dmgirl]

My nine year old daughter has just started to develop breasts and she is also suffering mood swings, she will want to rip somethings head off one minute and be crying the next.
She is also complaining of lower back pain which is a sign than she may begin her periods soon.

The trouble is although she is maturing physically she is still very young emotionally. How do I explain all these things to her without scaring her? I have told her that it is all perfectly natural and nothing to worry or be embarrassed about but does anyone know any good books or websites I could show her to help her understand.

[Sash]

Harv's mum bought our daughter who is now 11 a couple of books and I let her read bits of things like the Tampax instructions and sanitary towels instructions. I also got a sample of pads and Tampax from Beinggirl : Your Body : Always clean : Homepage you just need to register, and i found it took away the giggles because she could sit and look at them in her own time, and then ask me if she needed to.

Books are Amazon.co.uk: Everything You Ever Wanted to Know About Periods: Books: Tricia Kreitman,Fiona Jones,Finley
and
A Blessing not a Curse by Jane Bennett


Hope that helps

[dmgirl]

Thanks will look into those for her.

[Detomah]

As much as i'd love to help on this subject, i'll leave it to you ladies, as a boys main problem when the loins first start to stir, is making sure the parents don't catch you during the act of single handed love making... And more importantly, not having to stand up in assembly at school with a stiffy after looking up the hot teachers skirt. Boys really do have it quite lucky when it comes to this sort of thing, the only thing that gets boys really is being a later developer, because once puberty hits, most lads can't wait to strut their stuff round the changing rooms to display their manliness and it's always the poor kid that reaches puberty late that gets really bad stick. Where as with a girl, the late develpment of boobs and bushy bits is pretty obvious and whether the girl grows up flat chested or is just a little late developing, I can imagine it is bloody awful when other girls are bouncing all over the shop and getting all the lads attention.

Phew, thank gawd for not having to worry about such things.... I think i'll be awful at dealing with it. ><

[Sash]

Originally Posted by Detomah

Phew, thank gawd for not having to worry about such things.... I think i'll be awful at dealing with it. ><

lol I'm leaving the birds and the bees talk for the lads for Harv to do, and he will have to do it 3 times I think it will be something along the lines of " keep it in your pants son, not worth the trouble!"

[dmgirl]

Originally Posted by Detomah

Where as with a girl, the late develpment of boobs and bushy bits is pretty obvious and whether the girl grows up flat chested or is just a little late developing, I can imagine it is bloody awful when other girls are bouncing all over the shop and getting all the lads attention. ><

Actually my daughter is the first in her class to develope and she's finding it very embarrassing. She wears normal vests over her training bras because she doesn't want to be different from her friends. Early or late puberty is a tough experience for most girls. Boys are really luckly but saying that I don't fancy having to give my son the birds and the bees talk either. I can't win either way.

[Paparika]

my son hit puberty early and i had to get a book to help me explain to him what was happening to him as his dad is off the scene..


anyhoo girls.....

Girls Puberty by Beinggirl : Your Body : What's Happening To Me

Tampax have this website that maybe help you with explaining stuff to your daughter, they also a few years ago produced a book version.

Waterstones have a very good selection of 'life skills' books specially for puberty and the adolescent
found this for you Waterstones.com: Children's: What's Happening to Me? - Facts of Life S. by Susan Meredith, et al.

I think you deserve karma, my mother chucked a packet of surf boards at me and said stick one in your knickers, that was the whole birds and bees with me.

Year 6 at school give the children a leaflet explaining to them that things were about to change for them, not only about moving to the big school, but personal stuff about body changes..

Good luck

[Evilkitten]

I remember being one of the first to start and finding it quite embrassing to have breast and periods before I was 10. I also remember refusing not to wear a bra as I was kind of in denial most of the time until I reached high school. What was even more scary was I had no idea about any of it because sex education didn't start at my school until after I started puberty.

Anyway I know as a child I felt better by it when my mother spoke to me one-on-one instead of leaflets thrown at me. Sure I was scared at first to hear about it but to hear that it was all ok from talking to my parents made me feel a lot better.

So my suggestion, my a childs point of view, is discuss what she is going through with her and give her a chance to ask questions. Then reassure her that there is nothing to worry about and that it is all normal, that you felt exactly the same when you were her age and that she can come to you at any time. Try not to give her leaflets, books and websites as a 'instead of' but rather something she can look at in her own time as there is nothing worse than feeling like you can't go to your parents about something. =)

[Paparika]

Originally Posted by Evilkitten

I remember being one of the first to start and finding it quite embrassing to have breast and periods before I was 10. I also remember refusing not to wear a bra as I was kind of in denial most of the time until I reached high school. What was even more scary was I had no idea about any of it because sex education didn't start at my school until after I started puberty.

Anyway I know as a child I felt better by it when my mother spoke to me one-on-one instead of leaflets thrown at me. Sure I was scared at first to hear about it but to hear that it was all ok from talking to my parents made me feel a lot better.

So my suggestion, my a childs point of view, is discuss what she is going through with her and give her a chance to ask questions. Then reassure her that there is nothing to worry about and that it is all normal, that you felt exactly the same when you were her age and that she can come to you at any time. Try not to give her leaflets, books and websites as a 'instead of' but rather something she can look at in her own time as there is nothing worse than feeling like you can't go to your parents about something. =)

This is true, the websites are more for you to get help, you know your own daughter and what she can and can't cope with.

[dmgirl]

Thanks for the advice, I have explained what is happening to my daughter but her response was 'can I go now'. The websites and books were more of a visual aide than just telling her to read it and figure it out herself. The problem is her being so young and having to deal with something like this I worried she won't be able to cope with it, all the emotions are already scaring her.

She's only in year 4 so she haven't had sex education yet either and I've talk to her one on one but I feel like I explained it badly and ended up scaring her even more, although she did seem happier when she left.

[smudge]

Have you spoken to her teacher?
At the school my kids went to the girls had to use the staff toilet once they started their periods as there were no facilities in the kids' toilets.
Of course, all the other kids then wanted to know why so it may help to pre-warn her teachers.

[Paparika]

Ah being that young, get a female teacher involved, she'll not be the first ever to have started early so some female teachers may of have to of dealt with this before, also talk to your dr for advice, maybe they can delay it for a few years?