A englishman and a scotsman
A Scotsman and an Englishman lived next door to each other.
The Scotsman owned a hen and each morning he would look in his garden and
pick up one of his hen's eggs for breakfast.
One day he looked into his garden and saw that the hen had laid an egg in
the Englishman's garden. He was about to go next door when he saw the
Englishman pick up the egg.
The Scotsman ran up to the Englishman and told him that the egg belonged to
him because he owned the hen.
The Englishman disagreed because the egg was laid on his property.
They argued for a while until finally the Scotsman said, "In my family we
normally solve disputes by the following actions: I kick you in the
testicles and time how long it takes for you to get back up. Then you kick
me in the testicles and time how long it takes for me to get up. Whoever
gets up quicker wins the egg."
The Englishman agreed to this and so the Scotsman put on the heaviest pair
of boots he could find. He took a few steps back, then ran toward the
Englishman and kicked him as hard as he could in the testicles.
The Englishman fell to the floor clutching his groin, howling in agony for
30 minutes.
Eventually the Englishman stood up and said, "Now it's my turn to kick you."
The Scotsman smiled and said, "Keep the egg!!"
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