Quotes?

[Cintaria]

Looking around the forums I see quite a few quotes in peoples' signatures. So I thought 'I'll make a thread of funny quotes'. So I am.

Post some funny quotes and if I can, I'll karma ya

To start off -

I don't suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it.

Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling.

[emma roids]

i used to be indecisive but now im not so sure.

[Sash]

Girls are like phones. We love to be held and talked to, but if you press the wrong button you'll be disconnected!

[Allanon]

Children are smarter than any of us. Know how I know that? I don't know one child with a full time job and children.

I don't mean to sound bitter, cold, or cruel, but I am, so that's how it comes out.

We all pay for life with death, so everything in between should be free.

I can speak for every guy in this room here tonight. Guys, if you could blow yourselves, ladies, you'd be in this room alone right now. Watching an empty stage.

..

[Sash]

The greatest pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do.

He who laughs last didn't get it.

"Duct tape is like the force. It has a light side, a dark side, and it holds the world together."

The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on

[LippoW]

It has been said that democracy is the worst form of government except all the others that have been tried.

Funniest I can think of atm.

[Laz]

For forum sigs, I often use song snippets.

I wish I didn't know now what I didn't know then.

Welcome back my friends to the show that never ends, we're so glad you could attend, come inside, come inside.

You told me not to drive, but I made it home alive, and you said that only proves I'm insane.

Also:

Vidi Vici Veni

[Sash]

Originally Posted by Laz

For forum sigs, I often use song snippets.

ditto

[Ashante]

"Instead of being born again, why not just grow up?"

"Atheism is a religion as much as off is a TV channel"

"Well, if crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fire, what do freedom fighters fight? They never mention that part to us, do they?" - George Carlin
(or the shorter)
"Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity. "


As for song lyrics I like
"What about that millionaire with the drumsticks in his pants?
He looked so baffled and so bewildered when he played and we didn't dance." - Bob Dylan