Journalism At It's Finest

[Detomah]

All true and actual printed in various newspapers:

What DO they teach in journalism courses these days?

THE YEAR'S BEST (actual!) HEADLINES

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges
You mean there's something stronger than duct tape?!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says
No, really?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers
Now that's taking things a bit far!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over
What a guy!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Miners Refuse to Work after Death
Those good-for-nothing lazy so-and-sos!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant
See if that works any better than a fair trial!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
War Dims Hope for Peace
I can see where it might have that effect!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile
Ya' think?!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures
Who would have thought!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Enfield Couple Slain;
Police Suspect Homicide
They may be on to something!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Man Struck By Lightning: Faces Battery Charge
He probably IS the battery charge!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group
Weren't they fat enough?!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Astronaut Takes Blame for
Gas in Spacecraft
That's what he gets for eating those beans!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Kids Make Nutritious Snacks
Do they taste like chicken?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half
Chain-saw Massacre all over again!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors
Boy, are they tall!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead
Did I read that right?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

[meow]

lol some of those are actualy quite amusing

[Mars]

rly funny lol.

[Arcanine]

some nice lols there ^_^

[DeathKitten]

lol ^^

[teflon]

I saw in the paper that Heath Leger might win an Oscar after died, because he touched a lot of people in his acting career... and I thought, 'Yeah, mostly Jake Gyllenhaal.'

[LippoW]

Almost as good as the lawyer one.